Tolerance comes from accepting differences

I’ve often found myself wondering what quality I need in order to be more tolerant. Recently, to help answer that question, I asked a female friend how she manages to be so tolerant of men and their behaviour. She told me that she simply understands men are different, and she chooses to accept that.

Knowing this person as well as I do, I would go so far as to say that this attitude toward men and their differences, makes her very popular and enriches her life as a result. I’ve witnessed a very natural, relaxed, and healthy flirting, between her and men. This is only possible because all parties sense a lack of judgment or hidden agenda.

I feel that if more of us understood that we cannot change an individual into how we want them to be, but can only accept them as they are, our lives would be enhanced as a result. This is achieved through changing unacceptance, of the differences within ourselves, into acceptance.

Take time to be mindful of how you view others through the filters of right or wrong

The filters of right or wrong does, whether aware of it or not, originate within. In other words, if we feel there’s something wrong with ourselves, we’ll judge others in the same way.

The friend mentioned earlier is okay with herself. To be tolerant of her own foibles, and in turn those of others, she must have gone through the process of understanding—or was taught from the very beginning—that there is no right or wrong. The duality of right or wrong, when applied to the human condition, is very limiting.

It should be no surprise that those of us who are happy, comfortable, and liked are this way because it reflects our inner environment. Put simply, they like themselves. Being mindful of this can change your life. That said, if this isn’t the case already, learning to love oneself can involve a great deal of inner searching.