I wonder how many of us actually feel a sense of ownership of all the things listed above? I feel the one that is most relevant to my mood at the moment is the last one: Your Future.
Something very important has recently clicked with me. Consideration. I’ve often felt irritated by the lack of this. The lack of consideration for me. Poor me. And now this has been resolved. Like magic. All I’ve needed to do is start being more considerate to myself. Yeah, you’ve guessed it. Before I have any hope of anyone else being considerate to me, I need to be more respectful of my senses, my body, my mind, my life, and my future . Ta-Da!
Like me, if you’ve experienced a childhood where there seemed to be little consideration for you (all or some of the above), then it’s very likely that this expectation has followed you into adult life
An important point to consider here is that it isn’t necessarily true that everyone (or vast majority) of people you meet are inconsiderate. It could be that your mind is manufacturing this as a means of fulfilling a belief. That might sound a bit heavy, but bear with me.
If we’re taught during childhood that we’re there as a means of fulfilling the needs of others, this will mean that our needs are being placed last. It could be something as simple as being the listener. The child who listens to everyone else’s grievances with their needs ignored. The result could be a health problem related to hearing. A lot of earache, for example. Have you ever heard the phrase “stop giving me earache?”
So we might think the problem is that others are inconsiderate. Some people are, and this won’t change. However, people are less likely to be considerate to you if you fail to consider your needs and place them right at the top of the list. This may not have happened during childhood. Taking proper consideration for the self means that the future can be different.
They’re your senses, so in what way could you better protect them? It’s your body, so in what way can you be more considerate toward it? It’s your mind. In what way could you be more considerate of your mental health? It’s your life. What does the future hold?
As ever, Mindfulness is the key. Once we become enlightened to the real problem (lack of consideration for the self due to childhood learnings), we must remain mindful of how we’re maintaining this. Others will never consider your needs if you fail to care for them yourself.
Next Meditation to Mindfulness Workshop 12th September 10am – 4pm early booking advised. Contact me: Philip@practisingmindfulness.co.uk
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